


Liar

by SilversSilence



Category: TRICKSTER - 江戸川乱歩「少年探偵団」より | Trickster: From Edogawa Ranpo's "The Boy Detectives Club" (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Heavy Angst, How Do I Tag, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Not Beta Read, Post-Canon, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:54:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28012776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilversSilence/pseuds/SilversSilence
Summary: Believing a lie had always been so much easier than accepting the truth. But in the end, you can't run away forever, no matter how hard you try.
Relationships: Hanasaki Kensuke & Kobayashi Yoshio, Hanasaki Kensuke/Kobayashi Yoshio
Kudos: 4





	Liar

**„Everything’s going to be okay. Just trust me.“**

**Lies.**

At this point, he didn’t know how often he’d heard those words throughout his life so far. Phrased differently every time, but in the end, it meant the same anyway. Empty, pointless words.

Nothing more than another lie.

He’d been hearing it on a regular basis, by everyone around him; while none of them, repeating the same eight words over and over again like parrots, was aware of his situation in the slightest. And the ones who did, who had caught a small glimpse on the things he’d been through, didn’t understand. He was perfectly aware of how overdramatic this phrasing sounded, but in the end, he knew it was true. They had proven it often enough, after all.

 **He** had proven it often enough.

And he really thought he would have found someone he could trust. Someone who could show him that the world was more than the dark, lonely place he’d always seen it as. Someone who was different from everyone else after all.

Someone who wasn’t going to lie to him.

**„I’m going to stay with you.“**

**Lies.**

Nothing but another bunch of sweet words, another lie **he’d** been telling him until the words finally lost the meaning they’d held within them for so long. Not that this thing had been a disappointing- let alone depressing- progress. The fact that he’d believed it for such a long time was far worse. The thought, the promise behind that sentence had just given him so much more comfort than the truth. He had been on his own for so long, after all. At least, long enough to hold onto this beautiful lie for just as much time.

Trying to convince himself that **he** wouldn’t abandon him like everyone else did.

Not actually paying attention to what he was doing, he looked down at the glass sitting in front of him on the grey floor. For some reason, the liquid inside appeared a lot more dark to him than it had before. Slowly, he moved his hands towards it, stopping an inch before he could touch it. Such a thing would mean his decision was final, and part of himself didn’t want to accept this, yet.

Part of himself still believed in the lies **he** had told him.

**„You can trust me.“**

**Lies.**

He didn’t know whether that liquid was enough to kill him. He didn’t even know if it was possible. But, on the other hand, he had nothing left to lose, even if this would end in failure. He had prepared himself to die so many times before, after all, and the thought of his life lying in his hands and his hands alone didn’t scare him at all. In fact, it rather felt strangely, almost painfully comforting.

No, this thing being his last resort wasn’t an exclusively nice thought. There were more poetic or beautiful ways to die, too, but he had no one to care about it anyway.

And he wasn’t bothered by that thought at all.

**„Please stay with me.“**

**Lies.**

He didn’t care about any of this, and in the end, no one else did, either. The people around him were nothing but liars, ghosts without any trace of a thing like a soul within them, and they had always been. He’d known about this for a long time, anyway.

 **He** had been the only one who could have shown him the other side of the coin, even if it was just for a short while. The only person he really expected to be different from the others… turned out to be just another liar. Hope was a terrible feeling. After all, this was the thing making him believe all of those lies- all of **his** lies.

**„We can do this together.“**

**Lies.**

The „together“ **he** was talking about didn’t exist, and especially not with them. After all, he had been looking for a way long and desperately enough, he really did. He couldn’t remember the time he last wished for something in such a genuine way. But in the end, their friendship had been built on lies from the start, and it had been stupid to believe that things could… actually work out like this.

**„If you join the Boy Detectives Club, I promise I’ll kill you.“**

**Lies.**

He just closed his eyes, letting the memory pass by. The memory of how they’d first met, of everything that happened since then. The cases they had solved together. Everything they went through.

Together.

In the end, this was just another lie.

**„I wouldn’t know what to do without you.“**

**Lies.**

It had been naive to believe things would turn out differently this time. He didn’t know which one of them was to blame; in the end, there wasn’t a point in thinking about it, either. **He** was a liar, no different from all the others. The only difference from the others was how **his** lies had been so convincing, so beautiful, so he decided to believe them after all.

But this wasn’t enough to change the truth after all.

Both of them were liars, always had been. **He** was a liar. Just like everyone else.

The thought hurt, but in the end there was no point in proceeding to lie to himself. He was staying all alone in the end. If he managed to end the whole thing now, he could at least avoid a whole lot of more pain and more lies.

Not that anyone would care, anyway.

**„If you stay with us, we can help you.“**

**Lies.**

At this point he knew better than still believing him. After all, the Boy Detectives Club… had never helped him before. Maybe he tried to convince himself they did at some desperate times, but in the end, that wouldn’t change the truth.

The truth… no member of the Club had ever really helped him, not even **him**. No matter how much trust he’d put into him. He had hoped for it… no, he had really believed it.

**„The others would miss you if you were gone. Inoue and Noro and Yamane and-“**

**Lies.**

It was not like his existence would matter to the others. It was useless to them, he was useless, and whether he lived or died wouldn’t effect the Boy Detectives Club. Same for the members. He would just disappear, like he’d never existed in the first place, just like the worthless shadow he was.

He had always known about the things he was about to prove. Prove to all of them, and especially… **him**.

His head was empty as he swallowed the first bit of the liquid. Actually, he had expected it to hurt, to give him struggles, whatever, but he didn’t feel anything. Maybe this meant it wasn’t working, but at this point- even though he knew he _could_ \- he refused to go back. Refused to stop.

If he finally died, everything would end well. For him, and for everyone else, too.

If not…

He didn’t finish this thought. Instead, he closed his eyes and allowed himself to be dragged into this endless, abyssal darkness.

**„And I would miss you, too.“**

Kobayashi was a goddamn liar.


End file.
